Healing from Trauma: How Passing Through Sorrow Offers Hope, Strength, and Practical Steps for Overcoming Hardship
Oct 23, 2024
When I wrote Passing Through Sorrow, I poured my heart into creating a story that shows the raw realities of trauma and the difficult, yet beautiful, journey of healing. Bailey’s experiences—feeling trapped, isolated, and powerless—mirror what many people face when dealing with abuse, loss, or hardship. Her path to freedom and love offers lessons that resonate deeply with real-life struggles and triumphs.
Here are the principles from Bailey’s story and how they reflect the lessons I learned during one of the hardest times in my life:
1. Acknowledging the Pain
Bailey’s story shows how vital it is to confront the truth of your circumstances, even when it feels unbearable. For her, this meant admitting she was trapped in a dangerous marriage with Roy. For me, it meant facing the harsh reality of being bedridden for over six years due to chronic illnesses and unable to fully care for my children.
Example: I had to admit to myself that my illness had taken over my life. Crawling down the hallway just to spend time with my kids, forgetting their activities and having others remind me about them, and relying on neighbors to help with laundry and cleaning forced me to see how much I was struggling. Ignoring the pain wasn’t helping—it was only when I acknowledged the struggle that I could start to seek help and adjust my expectations.
Principle: You can’t begin to heal until you face the pain head-on.
2. Accepting Support
Bailey learns to trust Killian, her protector and ally, despite her initial resistance. I also struggled with accepting help, but the support of neighbors and friends who pitched in to clean my home and help with chores was a lifeline.
Example: It was humbling to rely on others, especially when I felt like I should have been able to manage on my own. My oldest child, only 8 years old at the time, had to shoulder responsibilities far beyond her years. Accepting help reminded me that I wasn’t completely alone, even when I felt isolated.
Principle: Allow others to help. Healing is not a solo journey.
3. Finding Small Wins
Bailey’s progress toward freedom comes in small, brave steps. I learned to celebrate the little victories, even when they felt insignificant in the moment.
Example: On good days, I’d sit with my kids and talk, read to them, or just be present. These moments felt small compared to what I wanted to do as a mother, but they were everything to my children. Recognizing these small wins helped me focus on what I could do instead of dwelling on what I couldn’t.
Principle: Focus on small victories to build strength for the bigger battles.
4. Fighting Negative Beliefs
Bailey fights the mental and emotional manipulation of her abusive husband, Roy, and begins to reclaim her sense of self-worth. I, too, had to battle the lie that I was worthless because of what I couldn’t do.
Example: I felt like a failure as a wife, mother, and woman. Missing my children’s activities, forgetting important moments, and relying on others fed into the belief that I was a burden. But as I prayed and reflected, I began to see that my worth wasn’t tied to my productivity. My value came from being their mom, loving them, and showing up however I could.
Principle: You are more than your circumstances. Your worth is inherent.
5. Choosing Hope
At its core, Passing Through Sorrow is a story about holding on to hope, even when it feels impossible. For me, this meant trusting that God had a purpose for my suffering, even if I didn’t understand it at the time.
Example: There were days when I thought my family would be better off without me—not because I wanted to die, but because I felt like a burden. Yet, something deep inside me held on to hope. I believed Heavenly Father had a plan for me, even when I couldn’t see it. That faith became my anchor and gave me the courage to keep going.
Principle: Hope doesn’t erase pain, but it lights the way through it.
Final Thought:
Bailey’s story—and my own—are reminders that even in the darkest times, healing is possible. By facing your pain, accepting support, finding small wins, fighting negative beliefs, and holding on to hope, you can move forward.
Your story isn’t over. There is light ahead, and it’s worth fighting for.
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